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From club member Ashley Waddell Tingstad:
I'm inviting you to join me for a very special evening of food and conversation in support of The Child Palliative Care Coalition of Michigan. I have 6 tickets left of 44 and we would love it if some Club Members would join me for this special night.
What is Death Over Dinner?
Death Over Dinner is a movement designed to bring people together to talk about death within the cozy, low-key container of a dinner party. My work and life experience have taught me that conversations about death are healthy and vitally important. Having these conversations helps us gain clarity about what is important both in life and at the end of life. This clarity is the gift that keeps on giving.
What can I expect if I attend?
Delicious food, a beautiful atmosphere, and lively and meaningful conversations with members of your community! Registrants will receive a short article and a video to watch prior to dinner, as well as a list of questions to consider. Doors at the Ann Arbor Club open at 5:30, and attendees will be welcomed with appetizers and drinks. At 6:30, everyone will take their seats for dinner. After brief opening remarks by me and a representative from the Child Palliative Care Coalition of Michigan, guests will be encouraged to make introductions at their table. During the meal, I’ll ask participants to take turns addressing one of the discussion questions if they wish. The conversation should be organic and enjoyable.
Why should I care about the Child Palliative Care Coalition of Michigan?
Treetown Law is proud to co-host Death Over Dinner with a local non-profit that is near to my heart: The Child Palliative Care Coalition of Michigan (“the Coalition”). The Coalition’s mission is to provide resources for, and to advocate for, medical professionals, volunteers and families caring for children with life-limiting illnesses, and to ensure the availability of compassionate, comprehensive care across the State of Michigan.
As many of my readers know, my third child, Viggo Rick, was born in January 2022 with an extremely rare and serious genetic condition. While I never had even considered the possibility that a baby—my baby—could need palliative or hospice care, our family had a good experience with both during my Dad’s final illness. I had also been in the room for both a peaceful hospice deathand a traumatic ICU death. I knew which type of death I would choose for myself and my loved ones. It took me a while to see it, but those direct experiences with end of life had prepared me to be Viggo’s mom.
Our medical system is focused on aggressive treatments and cures—which is wonderful and important—but such an approach can be unhelpful if a cure is not possible. Sometimes, aggressive interventions are the right choice; sometimes they may hurt more than they help. The right answer is rarely obvious. This is where pediatric palliative care providers really shine.
As parents, my husband and I were asked to make excruciating life-and-death medical decisions for Viggo in the context of uncertainty about his prognosis. We aren’t medical professionals and we had no personal experience with the medical interventions we were weighing for our child. We knew one thing for certain, though: there is no “cure” for Trisomy 5p. Our pediatric palliative team skillfully guided us as we navigated Viggo’s care. They made it possible for us to enjoy our precious time with Viggo and give him the best life possible. They also helped us give Viggo a comfortable and loving death. His good death was not only good for him; it has given us, his family, immense peace in bereavement.
How we live and how we die matters. Some suffering and trauma is unavoidable. In my experience, palliative care makes it possible to minimize or eliminate avoidable suffering.
Pediatric palliative care is a relatively new subspeciality, and there are far too few providers to care for all the children who need them. While a definitive number for children needing pediatric palliative care in Michigan isn't available, a 2023 report noted that the national pediatric palliative care physician-to-child ratio of 0.3 per 100,000 children. Behind this statistic is a lot of avoidable suffering and trauma.
The Coalition advocates for more access to palliative care for children who aren’t lucky enough to live close to Mott or other children’s hospitals. The Coalition also provides training to help doctors and nurses specializing in other areas apply palliative principals in their work.
Since Viggo’s death in July 2022 at six months of age, I have become an advocate for pediatric palliative care. I have both written about our life with Viggo and travelled to tell my story at medical conferences as a Parent Champion with Courageous Parents Network. Since 2024, I have served on the Board of the Coalition.
Warmly,
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